…are the only thing I’m good at. I wrote something similar a few years ago, on another of my many blogs — or attempts at blogging — bemoaning my lack of discipline and failure to see an end to things I started. The post ended with a list of things I started but never finished and the very edgy, “I'm a type B person masquerading as a type A.” And then a promise to update the list of things. Which of course I never ended up doing.
It’s a new year. I say this every time but I’m not going to stop repeating myself because if there’s anything I am good at, it’s being stubborn and trying to do the same things over and over again expecting different results each time. Which sounds sadder than it actually is, I promise. In reality, things do change.
The context changes and the situation changes and each time things may actually go better than the last because of all the different things making the thing different. I am making sense, and if I keep telling myself that it’s going to come true and if I keep telling you that you’re going to believe it. I am making sense.
So what are the different things this time that will make this thing different?
I’m older now, and I know myself much better. I’ve also decided to go back to write.as, the site that worked and that I feel the most aligned with and where I kept the most consistent blog (which I kept mostly private but hey it was something!) I’m dropping my attempts at WordPress because as wonderful as that platform was when I was starting out with publishing things online, it’s changed. And I’ve changed. We aren’t right for each other anymore and that’s that.
With the additional years and months and days I’ve gained, I’m also much more aware of what I’ve been doing (and not being doing) that isn’t working and how to make things work better moving forward. Yes, that sounds corporate as heck and that sounds like all these little Trishas have been doing a deep dive in my head around a conference table (or Zoom?) or whatever, but things are clearer now.
Other than me changing, I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been. Yes, even with all the things going on right now, I am genuinely happy and everything has just been lining up. Mial is going to get better, I’m making moves to pursue things I truly want to do, my friends and family are the most amazing people, and Ed is here. Life is beautiful.
So yeah, here’s to beginnings. And here’s to goals and getting things done and being in a much better place than I’ve ever been and knowing when to breathe and rest and forgive myself and knowing when to move forward at full speed. Things are exciting. I am excited. Things are beginning.
Happy 2023, loves.
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